That check-in could include what you loved and what was really good as well as any corrections or minor adjustments if you have them. Here are some examples of the easy, more challenging, and (for some people) more extreme levels of dirty talk that you can engage in with your significant other. One of the fastest ways to boost the power and erotic, engaging quality of your dirty talk is to start using multi-sensory descriptive words. Remember to keep your significant other’s preferences in mind and tailor these dirty talk examples to fit what they like best.
If you’re into voice memos or on the phone
So, where do people learn the language of good dirty talk? According to 61% of the respondents, it was inspired by spur-of-the-moment events such as what their partner was doing at the time. The next top inspirations for men and women were previous partners and pornography. Know that you don’t have to dive right into graphic dirty talk if it feels awkward or odd—in fact, dirty talk doesn’t even have to be that dirty to be effective. Dr. Tara breaks it into three different intensity levels, from beginner to advanced.
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Start out slow and follow her lead.
It is often referred to as a kink or fetish, meaning that for a lot of people (like myself) sound is an important part of their sexual experience. Could this explain why I like using blindfolds in bed so I can rely exclusively on my ears to carry me through to nirvana? Kink or not, sound can be a vital part of sex and incorporating even a touch of theatrics could go a long way.
- Also, Horn says, “Don’t be afraid to be super literal in your dirty talk, especially when you’re getting over the initial hump (so to speak) of the social anxiety, figuring each other out, freezing up.”
- Now, we’d both done some pretty intense dirty talk in the past.
- Guys are more singular in their focus, whereas women can hold many things in their mind at once when it comes to sexual arousal.
- Reframing those as opportunities to experiment with things you otherwise would never bother with can be a stimulating way to cope.
- Dirty talk can be enjoyed even in the total absence of sex, just for fun rather than as a means to an end.
How To Talk Dirty During Sex, On The Phone & Whenever
The dirty talk guidelines that you would use IRL also generally apply to sexting, which is the practice of sending sexy messages or pictures to someone via your phone. “When it comes to texting on your phone or Gchatting or email, you have to be very deliberate and very methodical, and really pace yourself,” Horn recommends. You can’t read any nonverbal cues over a text, so choose your words or emojis carefully.
Dirty talk is the perfect way to enjoy fantasies that are impossible to enact in real life, or that you simply enjoy the idea of, more than the actual thing. Want to share a fantasy about living on a deserted island where there are only the two of you? Or, want to pretend that a party is winding down and there are only a few of you left and things get more playful? “Because sexy talk can be about fantasy, it can offer people a way to play in a certain domain without wanting to, or being able to, engage in those behaviors,” says Gowan.
They’re taboo enough that you wouldn’t say them around your boss, but they’re also not disrespectful or clinical, which is exactly the tone you should be going for. There are few lines in music that bring me as much joy as, “Pussy so good I bought her a pet,” from the brilliant lyrical mind of Jason Derulo. No woman wants to be thinking about pet care while having sex.
- Dirty talk isn’t for perverts, it’s about enhancing your sexual experience and vocalizing your sexual wants.
- “There’s never a bad time to start talking dirty,” says Horn.
- You can start off by trying a few slightly dirty things and then work your way up to your preferred amount of filth.
Dirty talk is something I’ve found myself being into but I don’t indulge in it mainly due to a lot of my existing anxieties. I think dirty talk involves more trust and it takes a while for me to get there. But I will say that, while it isn’t important that every sexual encounter involves dirty talk, I do find that I am more easily turned on by it. When I need to get in the mood to masturbate, I sometimes just listen to the sounds of someone moaning!
You might whisper something in your partner’s ear in the morning and then send risqué text messages as the day goes on; as the anticipation builds, you can get progressively more suggestive. Dirty talk is a liberating experience for women to break down this mindset and become comfortable in their sexuality and desires. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found the more comfortable we are talking about sex, the more satisfactory our sex lives will become.
“You are learning a new skill and that takes time and practice! Talking dirty is a great way to connect with your lover and to kick things up a notch in the bedroom. To master dirty talk, you just have to slowly get more comfortable opening up verbally in bed (or if you’re sexting, over the phone).